Tag Archives: beauty

True Beauty

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I was walking at the mall the other day with my son and I suddenly heard “Excuse me.” I was at a mall that I do not normally frequent and I was not expecting to see anyone that I know.

I turned around to see a woman with a questioning look on her face.
“Can you tell me what kind of conditioner you put in your hair?”

I stood there for a second, pondering the fact that she was asking ME about my hair. As you know, I have low self-esteem and I have never thought of myself as beautiful. I am also pretty sure that nobody has ever asked me for recommendation on any kind of hair or beauty products.

I finally answered her and explained to her the Curly Girl Method that I have been using the last few months. She was overjoyed to hear that there was something that she could do about her hair! After we chatted a minute, we started to part ways. She thanked me and as I started walking away, she said “Your hair truly is beautiful.”

While I have gotten a lot of compliments on my hair the last few months since I have started embracing my curls, no one has told me that my hair is beautiful. I didn’t think much about it at the time because I had Jayden with me and I needed to go on about my business. But as I had time later to think back on the moment, it really hit me that someone out there thought that some part of me was beautiful. I know we are not supposed to take pride in our looks. However, the fact that I am working with the curls that God gave me and not trying to change them nor hide them reminds me that He made us all beautiful.

Now, as Beth Moore says, I’m not going to be giving up my makeup or my nail polish or coloring my gray hairs. I am, however, going to continue to find God’s true beauty within myself.

That is my goal this year. Once the kids go back to school, my focus is going to be on ME. I want to get healthy. Not just thin and skinny, but healthy. I want to be healthy in ALL aspects of my life; physically, mentally and spiritually. I keep feeling that God is pulling me in that direction. I know there are other, bigger plans that He has in store for me such as writing and women’s ministry. I cannot even begin to shepherd other women if I am not healthy myself.

So this year (I always seem to consider the start of school the “new year” rather than January 1) I have said NO to a lot of commitments. That is big for me. I am always the one that says yes without regards to my own family and well-being because “someone has to do it so it may as well be me.” This year, I am being somewhat selfish and going to focus on ME. I’m going to get healthy. I’m going to fill my pitcher up with the love and beauty of Jesus so that when He says it is time, I can go out and pour out to others.

The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
~1 Timothy 1:14~

The Making of a Princess

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This weekend I had the opportunity to treat my daughter like a princess. We celebrated her half birthday by having a few of her friends over for a Princess Tea Party.

My fabulously, wonderful best friend offered her home (since ours is in packing and moving chaos) and helped with a lot of the planning and the work.

Dakota requested princesses, pink, purple and more pink.

There were fun little fruit cups and pumpkin bread shaped into flowers and castles.

Let us not forget the cupcakes.

The girls were super excited that they were able to use real tea cups and plates.

Dakota picked the place setting with the pink plate….of course.

As my daughter and her friends enjoyed eating their sandwiches, sipping their tea and playing beautiful princesses, I recalled how my daughter had twirled around in her new princess dress and told me how beautiful she looked.

I got to thinking about how every time she put on a beautiful dress or something “pretty” she claimed herself beautiful. Yet, I have never heard her exclaim that when she is just in her everyday clothes. I realized that I need to do a better job of reminding her that she is always beautiful. She does not need to put on an elegant dress or a pretty hairband in order to be beautiful.

My daughter is always beautiful. 

She is made in His image.

Because she is God’s princess, she is and always will be beautiful.
Even when she acts silly.

It is my job to make sure that she remembers she.is.beautiful.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
~Song of Songs 4:7~

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Today I am linking up over at The Better Mom Monday Link-up.

My Quest to find Me

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I have spent pretty much my whole life hating my hair.

I have had very thick, very curly hair my entire life.

My poor mother had fine, stick straight hair and had no idea what to do with my mass of curls. She didn’t know what products to use nor how to take proper care of it. In fact, in her defense, I’m pretty sure there was not much information back then on how to care for curly hair properly. If you had curly hair, you were doomed because all the “pretty” girls had straight hair.

I started out with just wavy hair, but as I got older, my hair got more and more curls. The more curls I got, the bigger my hair got. There were times when I looked like a white girl trying to pull off an afro.

I have done so many things throughout the years to my hair in my quest to find the perfect hair; hair that I could be happy with.

I have tried growing it out long (maybe the weight would pull the curls out; no such luck)
I have permed it (maybe the curls would be more manageable; nope)
I have tried going natural and doing nothing with it (nope)
I have tried getting rid of the curls all together and straightening it (that was a big pain and went by the wayside once I had kids and no time for that)
I have tried cutting it super short (maybe it would be easier to straighten (that worked for a while, but it was still a lot of work and if I didn’t have time to straighten it, it looked like I had a brillo pad on top of my head)
I have tried coloring it and highlighting it in so many different colors in hopes that the color would mask the curls.

You name it, I have probably tried it on my hair. A lot of the time, I just got sick of it so I would pull it back into a ponytail. Every.Single.Day.

Until recently, I have pretty much hated my hair.

But then, I discovered this magical book, recommended to me by a friend~~~

It has literally changed my entire outlook on my hair and myself as well.

I have found the correct tools. I have found the correct methods to take care of my one of a kind hair. Even though there is a whole community of curly girls out there, each curly girl’s hair is unique in its own right.

Not only has this book been a revelation to me about how to care for my hair, but it has brought about a revelation on the care of my heart.

You see, in my quest to find the perfect hair, I was also (unknowingly) trying to find the perfect me. It was just another journey on my quest for perfectionism.

A few days into my newfound “curly girl adventures” God revealed something to me. All I needed to do was stop trying to change my hair. All I needed to do was embrace the hair that I had; the hair that God had given me.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
~Luke 12:7~

In the same way, on my quest to find out who I am, I need to embrace who God has made me. I am not perfect. I do not need to be perfect. All I need to do is be the woman who God has intended me to be. He did not intend me to be like Mary or Ruth or Esther. He intended me to be Missy.

He intended for me to have flaws.
He intended for me to sin.
He intended for me to be forgiven.
He intended for me to be a wife.
He intended for me to be a mother.
He intended for me to be a daughter.
He intended for me to be a sister.
He intended for me to be an aunt.
He intended for me to be a friend.
He intended for me to be a mentor.

He intended for me to be loved. He intended for me to be His. 

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.
~Psalm 52:8~ 

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I tried to find some early pictures of my white woman afro and frizziness and coloring mishaps, but I did not have any on my computer and I could not find any from old friends and family. Oh and then of course there is the fact that I do not usually allow pictures to be taken of me.
Here are a few examples for you to picture~~ Orphan Annie with brown hair, the epitome of 80′s hair, and me trying to go blond (it ended up orange and then very platinum looking, but then 1/2 of it fell out so I had to get a very short hair cut and let it grow out because any other coloring would make me completely bald; although that may have been a better option at that point.