I have spent pretty much my whole life hating my hair.
I have had very thick, very curly hair my entire life.
My poor mother had fine, stick straight hair and had no idea what to do with my mass of curls. She didn’t know what products to use nor how to take proper care of it. In fact, in her defense, I’m pretty sure there was not much information back then on how to care for curly hair properly. If you had curly hair, you were doomed because all the “pretty” girls had straight hair.
I started out with just wavy hair, but as I got older, my hair got more and more curls. The more curls I got, the bigger my hair got. There were times when I looked like a white girl trying to pull off an afro.
I have done so many things throughout the years to my hair in my quest to find the perfect hair; hair that I could be happy with.
I have tried growing it out long (maybe the weight would pull the curls out; no such luck)
I have permed it (maybe the curls would be more manageable; nope)
I have tried going natural and doing nothing with it (nope)
I have tried getting rid of the curls all together and straightening it (that was a big pain and went by the wayside once I had kids and no time for that)
I have tried cutting it super short (maybe it would be easier to straighten (that worked for a while, but it was still a lot of work and if I didn’t have time to straighten it, it looked like I had a brillo pad on top of my head)
I have tried coloring it and highlighting it in so many different colors in hopes that the color would mask the curls.
You name it, I have probably tried it on my hair. A lot of the time, I just got sick of it so I would pull it back into a ponytail. Every.Single.Day.
Until recently, I have pretty much hated my hair.
It has literally changed my entire outlook on my hair and myself as well.
I have found the correct tools. I have found the correct methods to take care of my one of a kind hair. Even though there is a whole community of curly girls out there, each curly girl’s hair is unique in its own right.
Not only has this book been a revelation to me about how to care for my hair, but it has brought about a revelation on the care of my heart.
You see, in my quest to find the perfect hair, I was also (unknowingly) trying to find the perfect me. It was just another journey on my quest for perfectionism.
A few days into my newfound “curly girl adventures” God revealed something to me. All I needed to do was stop trying to change my hair. All I needed to do was embrace the hair that I had; the hair that God had given me.
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
In the same way, on my quest to find out who I am, I need to embrace who God has made me. I am not perfect. I do not need to be perfect. All I need to do is be the woman who God has intended me to be. He did not intend me to be like Mary or Ruth or Esther. He intended me to be Missy.
He intended for me to have flaws.
He intended for me to sin.
He intended for me to be forgiven.
He intended for me to be a wife.
He intended for me to be a mother.
He intended for me to be a daughter.
He intended for me to be a sister.
He intended for me to be an aunt.
He intended for me to be a friend.
He intended for me to be a mentor.
He intended for me to be loved. He intended for me to be His.
But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.
I tried to find some early pictures of my white woman afro and frizziness and coloring mishaps, but I did not have any on my computer and I could not find any from old friends and family. Oh and then of course there is the fact that I do not usually allow pictures to be taken of me.
Here are a few examples for you to picture~~ Orphan Annie with brown hair, the epitome of 80′s hair, and me trying to go blond (it ended up orange and then very platinum looking, but then 1/2 of it fell out so I had to get a very short hair cut and let it grow out because any other coloring would make me completely bald; although that may have been a better option at that point.